You are in for a real treat today. I haven’t mentioned this newest event in the adventures of owning Bernie the rescue dog on any public forum. The three of you who read my blog know that I am lazy and post most things on Facebook. But this story is different. It needs a blog post – and even that might not do it justice. So let me try to start at the beginning…
My mother-in-law is awesome. Even more awesome is she sends us Christmas presents from the Land of Enchantment, otherwise known as New Mexico. Said mother-in-law is also an awesome present wrapper. Each package is well wrapped, often its contents are disguised in different shaped or sized boxes, so their contents remain a mystery. Especially to a present snoop like me. And each box is like Ft. Knox. You will not be able to peek into her packages. You must wait until Christmas!
We received a box of her awesomeness last Monday and promptly placed the packages under the tree. How could we not, they looked so pretty. One tin from Sister-in-Law was labeled “Keep away from dogs.” So you know we opened that one right away! Yep, cookies and fudge. Yum!
Wendesday – yes, nothing happened on Tuesday – I came home from work. I knew right away something was amiss. Kosar was slinking. Those of you who own dogs know what I am talking about. Ears down, half crouch position. Hmmm… something is going on. What has Bernie done now? I turn from turning off the security alarm and just look into my living room. I just stand there trying to process what I am seeing. Kosar hits the floor now.
Here is what I saw. Sorry for the poor quality, best buy still had my camera and I was using my phone.
What is that red stuff? I go closer to investigate….
Slowly I realized what was in the package. It is Chili! The red stuff is dried NM red chili powder and it is covering my family room. Even Bernie is slinking now. And that red stain goes well beyond the picture. I really wish I had a good picture to show the extent of the damage. Let me tell you what else you are seeing in that second picture. The green foil packages? Dried green chili. Each one has been bitten into, only one all the way through. There was dried green chili on the floor, but Bernie must not have liked that one so she didn’t mess with it. When she opened the second one, she left it mostly intact. The red foil packages? Coffee. Again, she punctured each one, but luckily she doesn’t have her mom’s addiction to coffee.
So I tossed the dogs outside so I could deal with this mess. And then I started laughing. See if you can tell what this pictures is:
This package was addressed to Bernie and Kosar from Grandma and Grandpa. It seems that Bernie could not wait for Christmas! Inside, a gift card and a treat for each dog. Not that I saw the treats, I just found bits of wrapper in the mess.
Now why do I blame Bernie for all this? How do I know that Kosar was not a willing participant?
The fur on her toes was red.
Things I have learned from this experience:
1. Always, always, always, ask if there is any consumable item in the Christmas presents. No one thought Bernie would go after Chili powder and coffee.
2. Bernie missed her calling as a bomb sniffing dog. She has a real talent with that nose. If she could only use it for good, instead of evil.
3. Bernie prefers red chili to green! She didn’t just spill it on the carpet. She licked it into the carpet. There was nothing to vacuum up. Just this big red stain.